Right now we are grieving a lot of things. Some of us may be grieving people. Many of us are grieving hope, normalcy, safety, rituals, not to mention hobbies, school, work, weddings, births, and much more that I’m sure you’re listing off in your head.
Currently, we all have an open wound. People keep saying “we’re all in this together” and even though we know it’s true, it sure doesn’t feel like it…it just feels like grief.
ONE of the crazy parts about all of this is that we NEED other people to grieve effectively, and that’s exactly what has been taken away from us.
So it’s really important to feel our grief. If we don’t feel it, then we don’t process it appropriately. Feeling our emotions, talking about our emotions, processing our emotions helps us to do a few things. It allows us to let go. But it also allows us to connect with our feelings and when we disconnect with our feelings that leads to emptiness and hopelessness.
We are probably all familiar with the 5 stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance). But in recent years, David Kessler (an author and grief expert) has suggested a sixth stage of grief after acceptance…the stage he has suggested is “meaning”….he suggests that loss is not a lesson or a gift or all those other things people say when they have nothing else to say…he says that loss is simply something that happens in life, but meaning is what we make happen out of it. He also says that meaning and healing does not mean that the loss hasn’t happened, it just means that we aren’t letting it control us…
Viktor Frankl (neurologist and psychologist) says that when we can’t change a situation, we end up changing ourselves.